captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

sofuckingblue:

tell yourself you’re hot. tell yourself you’re amazing. tell yourself you’re untouchably, radiantly attractive. do it every day, even if it feels like you’re lying to yourself. insist to the mirror that you’re the cutest thing its ever reflected. if you do it enough eventually it wont feel like lying anymore, it’ll be automatic, and you’ll recognize yourself as the incredible babe you really are.

Apr 17th with 1,793 notes /
rnugler:

thecaucasian-asian:

nutellaesmerelda:

Animated art gif

squint at it when you look at it

this is incredible
Apr 17th with 388,000 notes /
modorrelin:

someone posted this on facebook and i can’t believe i’m still laughing i’m sooo ashamed
Apr 17th with 69,125 notes /
Apr 17th with 6,206 notes /
Artist: Unknown
Title: UnknownYou Sound A Little Pony
Album: Unknown
Plays: 10,078

drowningheta:

gallifreyburning:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

image

Canada’s time to shine has come
Apr 16th with 194,520 notes /

tardiscalledsexy:

My math teacher called me average.

How mean.

Apr 16th with 9,153 notes /
Apr 16th with 339,591 notes /

burrgerking:

"what do u want to be when u grow up"

not u

image

actual-ironman-tonystark:

queerqueensansa:

postllimit:

mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something

my dad has literally called me by his own name. 

my mother has called me our cats name who has been dead for five years

multiple times

coolscar:

i havent eaten an apple in days. the doctors are closing in. my barricade wont last much longer. theyre coming. tell my family i love them